oh come on! give me a break, i held up my end of the bargain! or atleast i thought i did! or is it just part of the plan? the big plan you supposedly have laid out for all of us!? how the fuck is this fair, you know what? fuck that plan! can’t we just for once get what we want? what about me? what about me? what about me? and fuck me too , cause i just want too much , don’t i? what is it that we are looking for? what is it that keeps us going? i’m off that track , i am further than i thought , rnt i? then fuck me too!

 I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anesthetist and my body to surgeons.
…
The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me!

10 straight days…
12 hours per day…
3 hours of commute time on an endless road per day…
no weekends…
8 hours as free time per day!
i usually use it to sleep!

when do you know you have hit rock bottom?
could it be when your work take over your life?
could it be when you drive the cheapest rented car?
could it be when your whole rented house is only 1/3 of your previous room?
and i don’t even wanna get started on her weight!

but again… 
you can have no work ,
no car,
sleep in the streets ,
and have no one to even think abt their weight.
i guess i still have a long way to hit rock bottom!

just as long as i stay
i’ll be waiting new domain names . expidoms .

 
what if there’s no purpose?
what if it’s not determined…
just randomness… simple accidents…

a lot happened… dont remember much…
maybe nothing happened after all…
all i remember is i cantered…
he fractured his back… premium domains but i didnt give up…
cause there might be a purpose…or not
she talks about things on an alternate dimension…
or maybe she didnt talk at all… 

i’ll be back…
a lot to do before that…or maybe nothing to do at all

She’s just a girl-who said that I am the one
but….

Have you ever had an asian apple?
It taste like a pear but shaped like an apple;
A pear pretending to be an apple.
Everyone, everything pretends to be someone, something else.
Am I actually I or I’m just pretending to be myself !?

Objects are not deceiving – they are deception.
What we see, what we hear –
all that our senses present to us is fiction.
No more real than a dream.
We can only know that which we believe.
That which we believe – that … is all we have.
g cloud .

that went well….NOT!
run… why can’t we just run away?
how long…!!?? how to backup iphone to icloud . whois .

was one of those days…
i ran into ken lee…. today out of all days… i wasnt even suppose
to go to uni… what was she doing there? what r the chances?
it had been awhile…
it was not that awkward… well except for the part that she passed by me without sayin hi… or the part i tried wrapping it up… oh yea and the part i said i’m living my life! as if there’s something else i should be doin? wtf? and she was actually glad to hear that!? :S half an hour later i “SUDDENLY” realized how much i miss her and made a failed attempt for lunch! What’s wrong with me?
fine ,,,u may say it was awkward… but the worst was yet to come…
he called as i was driving back…i wish i could just tell him and get over with it… g cloud apparently we are meeting up tomorrow to discuss it.. the question is what is there to discuss?
Just sick and tired of this shit :(… need new ppl in my life…
*note to self* make it to the class tomorrow

hope is all that we have….

have you ever been @ the back stage of a fashion gala? i must say it’s an …. Well there’s no word to describe it… but it’s a divine experience : D … I’ve been attending the fashion fiesta for few days now and I’m just wondering why the fuck I became an engineer? Have been trying to change my life style recently, as for part of that have been trying to explore life beyond my life: P. For instance I attended an Indian night at a club where I heard the Indian version of world hold On. i admit …it was not that bad. Went to the beach a couple of times … tried wind surfing and I actually enjoyed it all. Well to be honest , thanks to my luck the few days I tried getting tanned the sun was nowhere to be found  :S. and of course been warming up to restart the gym. Aside all that, have been keeping a bird’s eye on the development in my country. What I don’t understand is how the “REFORMIST” is actually one of the founding member of the revolution, a hardliner worst then one currently ruling the country. Perhaps the internal war and the struggle for power among the founding members have taken a new shape. Whatever happens from this point on is opposite of progress. 
Have also outlined the decentralization map of the site. Major structural changed are yet to come… 

don’t try to understand it
don’t try to see it
try to feel it
we are all alone.
no matter how many people surround you
no matter how many people love you or care for you
no one knows you
you don’t even know yourself
when you finally figure this much out nothing and I mean nothing will matter anymore
except
who am i?
what am i doing here?

“Economy is a bitch” I permitted myself to role-play an economist as I drove. It was a long drive and I needed something to take my mind away from considering a position which stood against all my goals and believes. In 21^st century, where the roots of capitalism is growing deeper and deeper into our earth, when “FREE MARKET” governs most economies of the world (or at least this is what they claim),  a business cycle can almost destroy all hopes and faiths. What’s funny to me is how people react and judge without any knowledge of economics what so ever. As if it’s the end of the word, speculations and exaggerations keep on growing and growing without any support. The more I hear and see, the more I believe in government’s move to censure and block any article/paper regarding the economic situation of the country. Perhaps the famous invisible hand would actually need a visible hand. Perhaps Keynes (whom I generally don’t agree with) had the best explanation about the fluctuations.  We drove the economy to depression by our negativity. My own father whom I generally consider a wise investor is draining cash out of all offshore accounts and pilling them up under his pillow. And then we wonder where did all the liquidity go! What happened to all jobs? Without the backbone support of cash which business can function? Are we blind? Multi-billion dollar infrastructure projects are going on just meters away from us, can these billion dollars of investment be for nothing?
I’m gonna ask you to look away!
“shit , where the hell am I? “

i don’t mind the broken white lines. they have a balance ,a harmony, a system. They represent life to me. They connect the whole world together while they are indeed disconnected. They are the same and mean the same no matter where you find them as we are the same no matter where we are. They have a start and an end as everything in life has a start and an end. But you’ll always know that the next is just right up ahead. The repetition creates peace. If they could talk, they wud tell stories abt the millionaires desperate for love and lovers desperate for money. if they could write they had poems abt the broken cars abandoned beside the road and fast cars that rubbed off their color. They makes me feel safe. They are the only familiar thing in my life. the only things i know. the only things i understand. they are my constant! Solid yellow lines though, they are the limits. I don’t get along with limits! They Represent All That is Wrong In the World!

PEACE OUT