Have you ever had an asian apple?
It taste like a pear but shaped like an apple;
A pear pretending to be an apple.
Everyone, everything pretends to be someone, something else.
Am I actually I or I’m just pretending to be myself !?

Objects are not deceiving – they are deception.
What we see, what we hear –
all that our senses present to us is fiction.
No more real than a dream.
We can only know that which we believe.
That which we believe – that … is all we have.
g cloud .

“Hayko!!” she screamed while tossing her crop at Hayko!
he looked at her from top trying to gain control as he enjoyed
the ride. he knew he would finally get to canter if he showed he
can take control.
“you are trotting too fast!”
“1,2…1,2…1,2…” she repeated hoping he would go with the rhythm.
he looked ahead, smiling from bottom of his heart after all this time.
he was happy. Nothing had turned out the way he wanted but he
was happy again.there was just so much left to do…
so much left to say…
he shortened his reins and pulled them back, now barely walking he
looked down as he felt the four-beat gait. Slowly but firmly he
caressed his upper neck, stroked behind his ears and on the withers.
“good boy!” he whispered in his ear.

I’m coming up only to hold you under

that went well….NOT!
run… why can’t we just run away?
how long…!!?? how to backup iphone to icloud . whois .

was one of those days…
i ran into ken lee…. today out of all days… i wasnt even suppose
to go to uni… what was she doing there? what r the chances?
it had been awhile…
it was not that awkward… well except for the part that she passed by me without sayin hi… or the part i tried wrapping it up… oh yea and the part i said i’m living my life! as if there’s something else i should be doin? wtf? and she was actually glad to hear that!? :S half an hour later i “SUDDENLY” realized how much i miss her and made a failed attempt for lunch! What’s wrong with me?
fine ,,,u may say it was awkward… but the worst was yet to come…
he called as i was driving back…i wish i could just tell him and get over with it… g cloud apparently we are meeting up tomorrow to discuss it.. the question is what is there to discuss?
Just sick and tired of this shit :(… need new ppl in my life…
*note to self* make it to the class tomorrow

hope is all that we have….

“sleep will come…”
“But when?” he wondered as he waited for sleep to take away his soul and mind…
darkness was awaiting him on the other side…
depression loomed with the  break of dawn check broken links

have you ever been @ the back stage of a fashion gala? i must say it’s an …. Well there’s no word to describe it… but it’s a divine experience : D … I’ve been attending the fashion fiesta for few days now and I’m just wondering why the fuck I became an engineer? Have been trying to change my life style recently, as for part of that have been trying to explore life beyond my life: P. For instance I attended an Indian night at a club where I heard the Indian version of world hold On. i admit …it was not that bad. Went to the beach a couple of times … tried wind surfing and I actually enjoyed it all. Well to be honest , thanks to my luck the few days I tried getting tanned the sun was nowhere to be found  :S. and of course been warming up to restart the gym. Aside all that, have been keeping a bird’s eye on the development in my country. What I don’t understand is how the “REFORMIST” is actually one of the founding member of the revolution, a hardliner worst then one currently ruling the country. Perhaps the internal war and the struggle for power among the founding members have taken a new shape. Whatever happens from this point on is opposite of progress. 
Have also outlined the decentralization map of the site. Major structural changed are yet to come… 

don’t try to understand it
don’t try to see it
try to feel it
we are all alone.
no matter how many people surround you
no matter how many people love you or care for you
no one knows you
you don’t even know yourself
when you finally figure this much out nothing and I mean nothing will matter anymore
except
who am i?
what am i doing here?

Once upon a time there was no one but the one. He was the one with a world full of loneliness but in return he owned the magic colors. Dark and bright, cold and warm, all and all the colors were in his magic box. But he was fed up by all the cold and darkness. So he thought if he can magic with all these magic colors to create a world of beauties then…
he picked the color-box and took out all the colors. He had to do something about all the darkness. he picked up the magic yellow and drew a beautiful bright circle at the top of the page. expidoms Now everywhere was bright but there was nothing to be seen.  He picked up blue and poured it on the page. Suddenly the sound of waves on top of each other broke the silence of his world. This was the sound of the sea; The sound of blue waters. Where’s the brown that has to become mountains?  He found the brown color and the mountains rose from the paper. Then he drew springs from top of browns down to the blues. When he picked up the green, trees grew tall and fresh grass filled up the spaces. It was turn for flowers, then moon and stars, then turn for clouds, snow and rain… but he… he was still alone…
he thought what if he make a big magic… what if he mixes all the color…
so he mixed all the colors, and he formed a new magic that had hands and legs but they didn’t move. It had eyes but it didn’t see. It had lips but it didn’t talk, it didn’t smile.
He was still alone. He cried and just when he had given up all hopes, his tears made the magic’s heart beat. The magic moved. Smiled and then cried. Ran and then sat. The magic promised to always be with him. The magic slept and woke up. Worked and fell in love. Lied and became spiteful. Killed and shattered the trees; Smashed the grass and left.
Once upon a time the one was still with a world full of loneliness although he was not alone anymore. 
So I will…
head out alone and hope for the best…

He looked closely trying to figure out her eye color as she danced playfully alone in the middle of the living room. Her friends were by now either gone or in other rooms minding their own business. With a lot of struggle he reached out for his glass on the table.  The whiskey now mixed with melted ice tasted bitter but he was too drunk to get a fresh glass. His back pain was not there anymore but he wondered how bad the pain would be once he wakes up in the morning.  He knew exactly what he had to say. He knew exactly what he needed to do. If was funny how he had daydreamed about the exact same scenario, just few hours earlier, on his way to the hotel. domain mentions . As he enjoyed the irony, he remembered that his car is still with the hotel valet miles away from where he currently was. Trying to think clearly, he wondered how the hell he even got here! But that didn’t matter anymore cause by now, she was almost dancing on his lap. She turned her head, directly looking into his eyes. God only if he could figure out the color of her eyes. She took a puff of her cigarette, paused, and blew the smoke into his face. Only if she knew how much he hated that. He pushed her off and stormed out of the room into the balcony. The change in the temperature made him feel sick. He had drink way past his limit. He held the fences tight just trying to avoid throwing up.  He looked into the swimming pool perhaps 10 to 14 floors exactly below where he was standing.  The temptation of jumping was taking over every molecule of his body.
“What just happened?” she immaculately asked with just her head out of the balcony door.
But he had already left this planet by now drunkenly thinking “would we really die when we die?”

“Economy is a bitch” I permitted myself to role-play an economist as I drove. It was a long drive and I needed something to take my mind away from considering a position which stood against all my goals and believes. In 21^st century, where the roots of capitalism is growing deeper and deeper into our earth, when “FREE MARKET” governs most economies of the world (or at least this is what they claim),  a business cycle can almost destroy all hopes and faiths. What’s funny to me is how people react and judge without any knowledge of economics what so ever. As if it’s the end of the word, speculations and exaggerations keep on growing and growing without any support. The more I hear and see, the more I believe in government’s move to censure and block any article/paper regarding the economic situation of the country. Perhaps the famous invisible hand would actually need a visible hand. Perhaps Keynes (whom I generally don’t agree with) had the best explanation about the fluctuations.  We drove the economy to depression by our negativity. My own father whom I generally consider a wise investor is draining cash out of all offshore accounts and pilling them up under his pillow. And then we wonder where did all the liquidity go! What happened to all jobs? Without the backbone support of cash which business can function? Are we blind? Multi-billion dollar infrastructure projects are going on just meters away from us, can these billion dollars of investment be for nothing?
I’m gonna ask you to look away!
“shit , where the hell am I? “