my stomach is growling.
can’t decide if i’m hungry or i have had too much.

truth be told i dont remember my last meal.

sher left.
well
to be fair she said she wants to take a break
and i just didn’t see a point after that.
what does taking a break mean anyway?
another way of letting you down gently.

i didn’t fight nor argue… there was no point
i don’t think it would make a difference
things been bitter between us for a while now
she might be happier this way.

as for me, what i have inside of my heart from her
is isolated from whether she’s with me or not.
i’m not dependent.

well
maybe somehow to the indigenous factors of her existence within me.
but again that’s not affected by anything outside.
i remembered something i came across awhile back
“the culture of dependency in our life has weaken the natural man”
and i guess i’m liberated from that now

my goldfishes are still alive
i get joy from looking at them every morning

my backpack is now all empty
emptier than ever
i feel light and heavy
do i feel sad? lonely?
even if i do
no one to blame but myself
just pure choices
consciously or unconsciously
all my choices

nothing to bound me
no one left on my side

i thought of people surrounding me all day
maybe we do just consume one and other until all is left
is just bare memories

in her case
i hold inside much more than just memories
and that, she cant take away

my stomach is growling