Closed the last box,
looked around; sighed and stood up
decided to take a last look
and there it was…
god knows for how long or how l had missed it all along
from then It felt like watching the last episode of your favorite tv show  for hours
cause nothing would/could quiet replace it
no matter what, you’ll miss it all, every episode of every season
you can watch that last episode over and over again or even the entire series
but it will always end the same way
it is what it is
there’s no escape now
so I let go of myself
for all the stupidness
all the joy
all the sadness
and every other moment of it
cause how do you keep it all together
light was gone when I came back to reality
tiles had lost their chill
still in the same position, staring under the bed
in agony reached out for it, bane of my life
held it firm; deciding where to go from here
then left it back in the darkness
where it belongs
cause after all
a half empty jar of pickles could not be the worst welcoming gift for the new people page monitor .

Lately, I spend most of my time at work daydreaming about how my life would be different if I were a spaceman. And by lately I mean this past week. So much happened in such a short time that I feel I might actually be one.

somehow

Just drifting into space and landing back when my life is not the life I knew before. Somewhere along the way I lost her; my only bond with sanity. how to buy domains the place was not there anymore; John and George , my only saviors at work, vanished into thin air in front of my eyes and I didn’t realize. my responsibilities at work, which to my surprise I enjoyed doing, were changed to the most tedious and stupid position ever. I spend most of the drive back, which now has almost no purpose to it, struggling with back pain. And just when I thought the worst is over, as a Thursday special, I came down with the weirdest flu since this morning.  (“Thankfully not swine, checked in with the doctor”)

then she opened up and cried, and all my carp seemed almost childish and absurd.
The sad part was, the only thing on my mind was my shuttle and a way back to space!

“IT’S ALL IN YOUR MIND!”

entered the room and he was just looking out the window
ignored the awkwardness and just sat at my desk
logged in my computer and browsed into my mail
no surprises
“my daughter is too busy to talk to me”
and he became a person to me
I don’t know why I think of them this way
as in they have just been the way they are since it begun
I don’t understand anyone
what’s wrong with me?
how could this be
they are all surrogates
it was not just a movie but a reality
there is a something beneath all of them
had lost a 16 years old child 2 years ago
his only son
and he ran
cause how do you live after a part of you
your son
vanishes
dies
in front of your eyes
cause that’s what we all do
just as human as me
said there’s no escape
but we all run
is this my world?
am I the only one living?
how much of it I control?
had he passed the test?
cause its just a big old silly test! Isn’t it?
all the choices in the world
is this what will become of me?
someday
somehow
of all the choices in the world
will I break me?
silent

Not too long ago,
on a day exactly like this one,
I was given a soul,
not too sure why yet
not too sure for what yet
but im sure some part of it has something to do with you
I’ve given up hoping you will ever see that somehow though
and this year was probably the shittiest birthday I have had
but It was indeed a happy birthday
cause I got to spent it with you new domain names .

endless road;
once it was his only way out,
once it was his relief,
but now this road,
this road was just separating him from her,
and he hated every brick of it,
every lane,
every other car on it,
and every dim yellow light on it!
he hated it all cause they all stood between them
and pain in his back didn’t make it easier,
he couldn’t stop wondering though,
what if it wasn’t like this?
how would he have known?
and what would have his passenger done?
was he the reason for it all?
how depended are the independents? new domain names .