He stood there; just gazing into her eyes.
to him, it was as if there’s a whole different world behind those eyes…
pain in his back now almost unbearable
answers to his unspoken questions just rolling around in his mind…
god damnit i shouldn’t be explaining this
he sighs… he has to focus now…
now not then
“everyone gets to this point” nervously he looks around…
distractions everywhere…
focus ,focus focus…
“ups and downs…
evidently honeymoon is over,
here comes the hard part,
the part that actually matters!”
words playing around on his tongue like a content pig… just not wanin to get out…

“no one’s happy all the time… it’s getting thorough those unhappy times that matter… ”
What if she’s never happy…
the song… something about that song…
keep the heels down… i shall remember
his thoughts scattered in the universe of his mind… as lost as always.
smell of her perfume distracts him momentarily.
he sure is gonna miss it…
focus, focus , focus… just this once
“i’m not perfect, neither are you!” he clears his already clear throat.
“the rest is all up to you” distractions everywhere, a stain on his shirt grabs on eventually.
his answers in front of him, they always are.
sometimes he just decides not to see them.
why am i explainin this?
again ,again, again
Something about the damn song!
he looks at her face, her jaws moving now. looks closer, her lips also moving.
Words coming out, but he just can’t hear them!
Speak lauder damn it!
She’s talking, putting a sound to the words already twirling on his mind.
But he’s now 7 again. Playing with the snow, on the rooftop of that 50 years old building…
his mom calling but he’s just not there anymore…

Perhaps she was right…
there are alternate dimensions…
in one of which he was there…
standing … staring… playing
then but not now… not here

 
what if there’s no purpose?
what if it’s not determined…
just randomness… simple accidents…

a lot happened… dont remember much…
maybe nothing happened after all…
all i remember is i cantered…
he fractured his back… premium domains but i didnt give up…
cause there might be a purpose…or not
she talks about things on an alternate dimension…
or maybe she didnt talk at all… 

i’ll be back…
a lot to do before that…or maybe nothing to do at all

She’s just a girl-who said that I am the one
but….

Have you ever had an asian apple?
It taste like a pear but shaped like an apple;
A pear pretending to be an apple.
Everyone, everything pretends to be someone, something else.
Am I actually I or I’m just pretending to be myself !?

Objects are not deceiving – they are deception.
What we see, what we hear –
all that our senses present to us is fiction.
No more real than a dream.
We can only know that which we believe.
That which we believe – that … is all we have.
g cloud .

“Hayko!!” she screamed while tossing her crop at Hayko!
he looked at her from top trying to gain control as he enjoyed
the ride. he knew he would finally get to canter if he showed he
can take control.
“you are trotting too fast!”
“1,2…1,2…1,2…” she repeated hoping he would go with the rhythm.
he looked ahead, smiling from bottom of his heart after all this time.
he was happy. Nothing had turned out the way he wanted but he
was happy again.there was just so much left to do…
so much left to say…
he shortened his reins and pulled them back, now barely walking he
looked down as he felt the four-beat gait. Slowly but firmly he
caressed his upper neck, stroked behind his ears and on the withers.
“good boy!” he whispered in his ear.

I’m coming up only to hold you under

that went well….NOT!
run… why can’t we just run away?
how long…!!?? how to backup iphone to icloud . whois .

was one of those days…
i ran into ken lee…. today out of all days… i wasnt even suppose
to go to uni… what was she doing there? what r the chances?
it had been awhile…
it was not that awkward… well except for the part that she passed by me without sayin hi… or the part i tried wrapping it up… oh yea and the part i said i’m living my life! as if there’s something else i should be doin? wtf? and she was actually glad to hear that!? :S half an hour later i “SUDDENLY” realized how much i miss her and made a failed attempt for lunch! What’s wrong with me?
fine ,,,u may say it was awkward… but the worst was yet to come…
he called as i was driving back…i wish i could just tell him and get over with it… g cloud apparently we are meeting up tomorrow to discuss it.. the question is what is there to discuss?
Just sick and tired of this shit :(… need new ppl in my life…
*note to self* make it to the class tomorrow

hope is all that we have….