“sleep will come…”
“But when?” he wondered as he waited for sleep to take away his soul and mind…
darkness was awaiting him on the other side…
depression loomed with the  break of dawn check broken links

have you ever been @ the back stage of a fashion gala? i must say it’s an …. Well there’s no word to describe it… but it’s a divine experience : D … I’ve been attending the fashion fiesta for few days now and I’m just wondering why the fuck I became an engineer? Have been trying to change my life style recently, as for part of that have been trying to explore life beyond my life: P. For instance I attended an Indian night at a club where I heard the Indian version of world hold On. i admit …it was not that bad. Went to the beach a couple of times … tried wind surfing and I actually enjoyed it all. Well to be honest , thanks to my luck the few days I tried getting tanned the sun was nowhere to be found  :S. and of course been warming up to restart the gym. Aside all that, have been keeping a bird’s eye on the development in my country. What I don’t understand is how the “REFORMIST” is actually one of the founding member of the revolution, a hardliner worst then one currently ruling the country. Perhaps the internal war and the struggle for power among the founding members have taken a new shape. Whatever happens from this point on is opposite of progress. 
Have also outlined the decentralization map of the site. Major structural changed are yet to come… 

don’t try to understand it
don’t try to see it
try to feel it
we are all alone.
no matter how many people surround you
no matter how many people love you or care for you
no one knows you
you don’t even know yourself
when you finally figure this much out nothing and I mean nothing will matter anymore
except
who am i?
what am i doing here?

Once upon a time there was no one but the one. He was the one with a world full of loneliness but in return he owned the magic colors. Dark and bright, cold and warm, all and all the colors were in his magic box. But he was fed up by all the cold and darkness. So he thought if he can magic with all these magic colors to create a world of beauties then…
he picked the color-box and took out all the colors. He had to do something about all the darkness. he picked up the magic yellow and drew a beautiful bright circle at the top of the page. expidoms Now everywhere was bright but there was nothing to be seen.  He picked up blue and poured it on the page. Suddenly the sound of waves on top of each other broke the silence of his world. This was the sound of the sea; The sound of blue waters. Where’s the brown that has to become mountains?  He found the brown color and the mountains rose from the paper. Then he drew springs from top of browns down to the blues. When he picked up the green, trees grew tall and fresh grass filled up the spaces. It was turn for flowers, then moon and stars, then turn for clouds, snow and rain… but he… he was still alone…
he thought what if he make a big magic… what if he mixes all the color…
so he mixed all the colors, and he formed a new magic that had hands and legs but they didn’t move. It had eyes but it didn’t see. It had lips but it didn’t talk, it didn’t smile.
He was still alone. He cried and just when he had given up all hopes, his tears made the magic’s heart beat. The magic moved. Smiled and then cried. Ran and then sat. The magic promised to always be with him. The magic slept and woke up. Worked and fell in love. Lied and became spiteful. Killed and shattered the trees; Smashed the grass and left.
Once upon a time the one was still with a world full of loneliness although he was not alone anymore. 
So I will…
head out alone and hope for the best…

He looked closely trying to figure out her eye color as she danced playfully alone in the middle of the living room. Her friends were by now either gone or in other rooms minding their own business. With a lot of struggle he reached out for his glass on the table.  The whiskey now mixed with melted ice tasted bitter but he was too drunk to get a fresh glass. His back pain was not there anymore but he wondered how bad the pain would be once he wakes up in the morning.  He knew exactly what he had to say. He knew exactly what he needed to do. If was funny how he had daydreamed about the exact same scenario, just few hours earlier, on his way to the hotel. domain mentions . As he enjoyed the irony, he remembered that his car is still with the hotel valet miles away from where he currently was. Trying to think clearly, he wondered how the hell he even got here! But that didn’t matter anymore cause by now, she was almost dancing on his lap. She turned her head, directly looking into his eyes. God only if he could figure out the color of her eyes. She took a puff of her cigarette, paused, and blew the smoke into his face. Only if she knew how much he hated that. He pushed her off and stormed out of the room into the balcony. The change in the temperature made him feel sick. He had drink way past his limit. He held the fences tight just trying to avoid throwing up.  He looked into the swimming pool perhaps 10 to 14 floors exactly below where he was standing.  The temptation of jumping was taking over every molecule of his body.
“What just happened?” she immaculately asked with just her head out of the balcony door.
But he had already left this planet by now drunkenly thinking “would we really die when we die?”

“Economy is a bitch” I permitted myself to role-play an economist as I drove. It was a long drive and I needed something to take my mind away from considering a position which stood against all my goals and believes. In 21^st century, where the roots of capitalism is growing deeper and deeper into our earth, when “FREE MARKET” governs most economies of the world (or at least this is what they claim),  a business cycle can almost destroy all hopes and faiths. What’s funny to me is how people react and judge without any knowledge of economics what so ever. As if it’s the end of the word, speculations and exaggerations keep on growing and growing without any support. The more I hear and see, the more I believe in government’s move to censure and block any article/paper regarding the economic situation of the country. Perhaps the famous invisible hand would actually need a visible hand. Perhaps Keynes (whom I generally don’t agree with) had the best explanation about the fluctuations.  We drove the economy to depression by our negativity. My own father whom I generally consider a wise investor is draining cash out of all offshore accounts and pilling them up under his pillow. And then we wonder where did all the liquidity go! What happened to all jobs? Without the backbone support of cash which business can function? Are we blind? Multi-billion dollar infrastructure projects are going on just meters away from us, can these billion dollars of investment be for nothing?
I’m gonna ask you to look away!
“shit , where the hell am I? “

he gazed into the crowd, but he saw nothing. she was there , they were there but he didn’t see a thing. in fact he hasn’t seen anything for a while now.
he listened to the noises , but he heard nuthin. peple were cheerin, clapping and givin hazy speeches but he didnt heard a thing, in fact he hasn’t heard much lately either.
he was standing among others. Acting like others, but he was not there. Indeed he has not even been there for a while now. As if it’s just a swirly dream, he could hear bliss as the background music. In front of him, he could see ants swimming in the ocean. And he , he was driving on a twirly endless road towards the darkness with headlights off. moon was at its full glory, lighting up the road ahead of him.
but it wasn’t a dream, and he wasn’t on the road to nowhere.
he looked above, carefully searching for her. 
“is she biting her nails?” he asked himself.

C`est un mot qu`on dirait inventé pour elle
four years had gone by and he still was as lost as always. As he went through the papers he realized that nothing has changed. The box was still too heavy. He carelessly took out another bunch. Once they meant something, perhaps some sort of physical memories. abuse contacts But now the bench had turn into their graveyard. He had yet to grasp the concept of dealing with unrealities that once seemed real.
Malgré ses grands yeux noirs qui vous ensorcellent
La demoiselle serait-elle encore pucelle 
Sat beside the bench on the ground, He still could vaguely hear the music from his room. It had been a long day.
” What’s next?” he wondered. It was again just the two of them as it has always been. The silent brought him back to earth. He looked around desperate for a sign of life, but it was just the two of them. “So?” he asked!
O Lucifer !
Oh ! laisse moi rien qu`une fois
Glisser mes doigts dans les cheveux d`Esmeralda

i don’t mind the broken white lines. they have a balance ,a harmony, a system. They represent life to me. They connect the whole world together while they are indeed disconnected. They are the same and mean the same no matter where you find them as we are the same no matter where we are. They have a start and an end as everything in life has a start and an end. But you’ll always know that the next is just right up ahead. The repetition creates peace. If they could talk, they wud tell stories abt the millionaires desperate for love and lovers desperate for money. if they could write they had poems abt the broken cars abandoned beside the road and fast cars that rubbed off their color. They makes me feel safe. They are the only familiar thing in my life. the only things i know. the only things i understand. they are my constant! Solid yellow lines though, they are the limits. I don’t get along with limits! They Represent All That is Wrong In the World!

PEACE OUT

🙂
jun 1st,2009 
happy birthday kenlee!
look how they shine for u… and everythin u do
yea … they wer all yellow… expidoms .